We'll send
your card as a gift, write your message in the blank provided on billing page and the recipient's address.
Cards are sold all year long!
Holiday Card Shipping
Special: 2-12 cards will ship 6.95 USPS Priority mail, shipping will be changed after you
place your order. Do not order out of stock cards, if
you do, you will get substituted cards of a similar
style/theme.
Click on pictures
for detail - Available all year!
Chanukah Cards
Outside:
If you don't want to listen to a torturously long story about
an oil lamp, pretend you know what Chanukah is.
Inside:
Happy Chanukah
5 x 7"
New Year
Cards
Outside:
Happy New Year! (same shit another year)
Inside:
Toot!
5 x 7"
$2.95
Covering All Your Holiday Bases
Outside:
Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy New Year! Kiss
my Butt!
Inside:
A KISS to you this Holiday season!
5 x 7"
$2.95
Christmas Cards
Outside:
Going to the holiday office party?
Honey, I am the office party.
Inside: Spread some holiday cheer!
5 x 7"
Outside:
Ooohhh, I can't believe I drank a fifth of vodka and did half
the elves in the toy shop. . . . . . again!
With fail, each Christmas Eve Mrs. Claus turns into a Ho Ho Ho.
Inside: Ho Ho Hope you get plenty of
jollies this holiday season.
5 x 7"
Outside:
And Also, less shit from the dollar store.
Inside: Hope you get some good shit this
year.
5 x 7"
Outside:
Merry Christmas
Inside: Wishing you the best of the season
- no ifs, ands or butts.
5 x 7"
Outside:
Naughty or Nice?
Inside: Either way, I hope you find
something good under the tree
5 x 7"
Outside:
They're not gonna suck themselved.
Inside:
So if you need a little practice, give this a try!
5 x 7"
Outside:
There are only 3 little words I want to say on Christmas Day
. . .
Inside: Whats your pleasure?
5 x 7"
Outside:
Christmas Sucks!
Inside:
Lucky for you, so do I.
5 x 7"
Outside:
Let's Be Naughty this Christmas . . .
Inside: and save Santa the trip.
Merry Christmas Honey!
5 x 7"
Outside:
I've got bag full of goodies for you if I can come down your chimney.
Throw in a thong and you've got a deal
Inside:
Hope you get everything you want for Christmas!
5 x 7"
Outside:
I've got a bigger bone you can pull. Keep
wishing.
Inside:
It's the Holidays - - WISH BIG!
5 x 7"
$2.95
Outside:
. . . The demise of Frosty . . .
Inside: Hope your Holidays are as
good as Frosty's!
5 x 7"
Outside:
I the lights are out, how can you tell if
you've had oral sex with a snowman?
Inside: He melts in your
mouth. Happy Holidays!
5 x 7"
Outside:
Santa, I want a new football. Then get a
job!!!
Inside: Republican
Santa Claus Season's Greetings
5 x 7"
Outside:
Alternatives to a Christmas tree in a down
economy: (see front of card)
Inside: Grandma (picture of a grandma
sitting in a chair wrapped in holidays lights
and a star on her head.)
5 x 7"
Outside:
Down boy!!! Stay!!! Heel!!! Bad Dog!!!
You promised me a BONE Fatboy and what did you get me?! . . .
NEUTERED!!!
Inside: No bones about it, have a
Merry Christmas!
5 x 7"
Outside:
Merry Christmas from Santa and his little helper. (real pink
balloon)
Inside:
Make your holiday with and blow!
5 x 7"
$3.95
Outside:
I heard Santa flew past your house last night without stopping. I
wonder if that had anything to do with . . .
Inside:
. . . you being an asshole.
Season's Greetings.
5 x 7"
$2.95
Outside:
Have you been naughty or nice? Um ... naughty with an
explanation?
Inside:
Better Start Explaining.
Merry Christmas
5 x 7"
$2.95
Outside:
Santa's Been Keeping an Eye on You
Inside:
You are SO FUCKED! Merry Christmas!
5 x 7"
Out
of Stock
Outside:
Dahling! Money's short, times are hard . . .
Inside:
So here's your fucking Holiday card!
5 x 7"
$2.95
Outside:
If you managed to be good this holiday season, I want to offer my
congratulations. On the other hand, if you've been bad . . .
Inside:
I want all the details! Happy Holidays
5 x 7"
$2.95
Outside:
It's the holidays again. Sighhhh!
Inside:
Pour me a drink!
5 x 7"
$2.95
Outside:
May the spirit of Christmas decend upon you.
Inside:
Go green! Merry Christmas!
5 x 7"
$2.95
Outside:
He's Watching YOU
Inside:
Now Undress real slow. Just how Santa likes it.
5 x 7"
$2.95
Outside:
Touch this snowflake
Inside:
Frosty hopes you enjoy your holidays as much as he just enjoyed his!
Happy Holidays!
5 x 7"
Out
of Stock
Outside:
Don't Tell Mrs. Claus . . .
Inside:
Be as naughty as you want. I won't tell Santa. Happy
Holidays
5 x 7"
$2.95
Outside:
Santa? Mommy?
Inside:
May your Christmas be full of surprises.
5 x 7"
Out
of Stock
Outside:
I know what you're thinking about for the
holidays . . .
Inside:
and I'm sure she's into it!
Tri Fold 5 x 7"
$2.99
Outside:
Global Warming Hits North Pole!
(click card to see full details)
Inside:
Warmest Wishes for the Season!
5 x 7"
$2.95
Outside:
Remember, the size of the package isn't important.
Inside:
Okay. Like Hell it's not!
Merry Christmas!!
5 x 7"
$2.95
Outside:
For Christmas I wanted to give you something
you've always wanted!
Inside:
Hope you always wanted a card. Merry Christmas!!
5 x 7"
$2.95
Outside:
He see you when you're sleeping . . .
Inside:
and he likes what he sees.
5 x 7"
$2.50
Outside:
Happy Holidays from those of
us that have known you both for a long, long, time.
Inside:
- and like you anyway.
5 x 7"
$2.50
Outside:
First I was going to stop
over for Christmas then I thought of coming over wearing something Tight
and Sexy! Then I thought of coming over wearing nothing but an
Overcoat!
Inside:
Then I thought "Naw, I'll send a card.
Merry Christmas! 5 x 7"
$2.95
Outside:
(as shown)
Inside:
Sometimes "Bah, Humbug" Just Isn't
Enough!
5 x 7"
Out
of Stock
Outside:
No gifts for you . . .
Inside:
You've been an asshole this year.
5 x 7"
Out of Stock
Outside:
It's the perfect gift to keep your north pole . . .
Outside:
I spent most of my precious time thinking about your Christmas
present . . .
Inside:
(
as shown)
5 x 7"
Out
of Stock
Outside:
This little gingerbread house has been made especially for you!
It has a fluffy frosting roof, pinwheel peppermint decorations, a
gumdrop fence, and inside . . .
Inside:
. . . a black licorice whip. Happy
Holidays you pervert.
5 x 7"
$2.95
Only 4 left!
Outside:
Ironically Santa was into "naughty" in his spare time.
Inside:
Hope your holidays are whipped into a frenzy!
5 x 7"
$2.95
Outside:
As Shown
Inside:
Where the Fuck is that FAT OLD FART SANTA?
5 x 7"
$2.75
Outside:
I heard GOOD GIRLS get treats in their Christmas stockings . . .
Inside:
but BAD GIRLS like me get a HUNK OF COAL!
5 x 7"
Out
of Stock
Outside:
The Jumbo Dicky Switch Plate (as shown, inside, card has adhesive dots
to apply to your existing light switch cover.)
Inside:
Time to turn on Santa's North Pole!
5 x 7"
$3.95
Outside:
Do not open until Christmas
Inside:
Unless you want Santa to come early this year.
5 x 7"
Outside:
I Didn't Believe in Santa . . .
Inside:
Now I Believe!
5 x 7"
$2.95
Outside:
Happy to See Me?
Inside:
Or is that a yule log in your pants? Let's fire it up this
Christmas.
5 x 7"
Outside:
If you're going to eat too much, drink too much and party too much
this holiday season...
Inside:
You might as well spend too much on a present for me. Merry
Christmas!
5 x 7"
Outside:
Oh, I'm gettin' nuthin' for Christmas! Santa says I've been
bad!
Inside:
Asshole.
5 x 7"
$2.95
Outside:
Wishing you a stress-free Holiday Season.
Inside:
Don't Sleep Under The Christmas Tree With Anyone Else But Me!
5 x 7"
Outside:
I'll Hope to see You for Chirstmas . . .
Inside:
If You're Not Too TIED UP!
5 x 7"
Outside:
This Christmas you can call me
Ebenezer . . .
Inside:
. . . because I want to SCROOGE you all night long!
5 x 7"
Outside:
Is that a candy cane in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Inside:
Merry Christmas from your favorite laptop.
5 x 7"
Outside:
It's Christmas . . .
Inside:
It's okay to bite off more than you can chew.
5 x 7"
Outside:
Sorry I ate your Christmas present. So, to make up for it . . .
Inside:
feel free to eat me! Merry Christmas you cannibal!
5 x 7"
Outside:
Of course your Christmas gift from me will be very tasteful .
. .
Inside:
Make that tasty!
5 x 7"
Outside:
Christmas is my favorite time of the year . . .
trimming the tree . . . wrapping presents . . . singing carols . . . and
Inside:
Being kissed under the mistletoe
5 x 7"
Outside:
Santa won't be bringing you what you asked for
this year!
Inside:
They don't make peckers that big!
5 x 7"
Outside:
About your Christmas Gift . . .
Inside:
. . . it's in the bag. Merry
Christmas
5 x 7"
$2.95
Outside:
How 'bout some holiday decorating at my house .
. .
Inside:
It'll sure get us into the Christmas spirit!
5 x 7"
Outside:
How 'bout some holiday decorating at my house .
. .
Inside:
It'll sure get us into the Christmas spirit!
5 x 7"
Outside:
Christmas Fun with Dick and Jane
See Jane. See Jane have a Merry Christmas. See Spot. See
Spot have a Merry Christmas. See Dick. See Dick gripe about
holiday traffic, expenses, and family stress.
Inside:
Don't be a Dick. Enjoy the Holidays.
5 x 7"
Outside:
There we go! (Santa is scribbling on his list)
Inside:
You didn't make Santa's naughty or nice list . . . but you're at the top
of his shit list! Merry Christmas
5 x 7"
$2.95
Outside:
Warmest Wishes
Inside:
are coming your way! Happy Holidays
5 x 7"
Outside:
If you were expecting something BIG from me
this Christmas . . .
Inside:
open my bra!
5 x 7"
Outside:
Half the fun of getting a present . . .
Inside:
is unwrapping it. Merry
Christmas!
5 x 7"
Outside:
If You Don't Like My Xmas Gift . . .
Inside:
As Shown (Santa suggesting you can kiss his
mistletoe tattooed ass)
5 x 7"
Outside:
Have a great, fantastic, wonderful super Christmas!
Inside: If you
can't manage that, don't fuck it up for everyone else.
5 x 7"
Out of Stock
A Gay Holiday
Outside:
Hey! Let's Hit the Slopes Together . . .
Inside: .
. . and Hope We Hump Into Each Other! 5 x 7"
Thanksgiving
Outside:
I love a man who can cook, so when you're done in the kitchen...
Inside: come into the bedroom
and I'll show you the perfect place to stuff your bird. Happy Thanksgiving!
5 x 7"
$2.95
Outside:
Is that a Pop-UP thermometer in your pocket or are you just happy to
see me?
Inside: Now, that's something
to be thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving!
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contents of this web site, chocolatefantasies.com, are copyright
protected. Under no circumstances may any of our copyrighted
products, name of products, text, photographs, background graphics
and/or thumbnails be reproduced or used in any way without our written
permission. All of our products are represented to the best to our
knowledge, however some packaging, color and products may vary slightly.
We are not responsible for manufacturers' claims on any product.
Chocolate weights and pieces per piece and/or pound are approximate.
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LLK Ventures, Inc. - Chocolate Fantasies are registered names.
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