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Naughty Winter Holiday Greeting Cards

Adult Christmas Gifts     Stocking Stuffers     X-Rated Christmas Chocolates     Holiday Lingerie

Adult Christmas Gift Wrap & Bags

We'll send your card as a gift, write your message in the blank provided on billing page and the recipient's address.  Cards are sold all year long!

Holiday Card Shipping Special:  2-12 cards will ship 6.95 USPS Priority mail, shipping will be changed after you place your order.  Do not order out of stock cards, if you do, you will get substituted cards of a similar style/theme.  (If you want to save a bit more, ask us to ship with first class mail in the special instructions box.  We do not guarantee when delivery will be and there is no insurance.)

Click on pictures for detail - Available all year!

Thanksgiving

  Outside:  I love a man who can cook, so when you're done in the kitchen...

  Inside:   come into the bedroom and I'll show you the perfect place to stuff your bird.  Happy Thanksgiving! 

  5 x 7"

   $2.95


  Outside:  Is that a Pop-UP thermometer in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

  Inside:   Now, that's something to be thankful for.  Happy Thanksgiving! 

  5 x 7"

   $2.95


New Year Cards

 Outside:  Happy New Year! (same shit another year)

 Inside:  Toot!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


Covering All Your Holiday Bases

 Outside:  Merry Christmas!  Happy Hanukkah!  Happy New Year!  Kiss my Butt!

 Inside:  A KISS to you this Holiday season!

 5 x 7" 

                             $2.95


Christmas Cards

 Outside:  Going to the holiday office party?

Honey, I am the office party.

 Inside:  Spread some holiday cheer!            5 x 7" 

  $2.95  2 in stock


 Outside:  (pictured is Santa sitting on a Chimney with his pants down)

 Inside:  Hope Santa leaves you lost of GOOD SHIT this year!  Merry Christmas

 5 x 7" 

 


 Outside:  And Also, less shit from the dollar store.

 Inside:  Hope you get some good shit this year.

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  Merry Christmas

 Inside:  Wishing you the best of the season - no ifs, ands or butts.

 5 x 7" 

                             $2.95


 Outside:  Let's Be Naughty this Christmas . . .

 Inside:  and save Santa the trip.  Merry Christmas Honey!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  I've got a bigger bone you can pull.  Keep wishing.

 Inside:  It's the Holidays - - WISH BIG!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  I the lights are out, how can you tell if you've had oral sex with a snowman?

 Inside:  He melts in your mouth.  Happy Holidays!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  Alternatives to a Christmas tree in a down economy:  (see front of card)

 Inside:  Grandma (picture of a grandma sitting in a chair wrapped in holidays lights  and a star on her head.)

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  Down boy!!! Stay!!! Heel!!! Bad Dog!!!  You promised me a BONE Fatboy and what did you get me?! . . . NEUTERED!!!

 Inside:  No bones about it, have a Merry Christmas!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  Merry Christmas from Santa and his little helper.  (real pink balloon)

 Inside:  Make your holiday with and blow!

 5 x 7" 

  $3.95


 Outside:  Have you been naughty or nice?  Um ... naughty with an explanation?

 Inside:  Better Start Explaining.  Merry Christmas

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  Dahling!  Money's short, times are hard . . .

 Inside:  So here's your fucking Holiday card!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  If you managed to be good this holiday season, I want to offer my congratulations.  On the other hand, if you've been bad . . .

 Inside:  I want all the details!  Happy Holidays

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  It's the holidays again.  Sighhhh!

 Inside:  Pour me a drink!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  May the spirit of Christmas decend upon you.

 Inside:  Go green!  Merry Christmas!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  He's Watching YOU

 Inside:  Now Undress real slow.  Just how Santa likes it.

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  Eat Your Vegetables

 Inside:  Have a Healthy Happy Holiday Season!

 5 x 7"      Click here for chocolate carrots and here for naughty chocolate snowmen.

  $2.95


 Outside:  Don't Tell Mrs. Claus . . .

 Inside:  Be as naughty as you want.  I won't tell Santa.  Happy Holidays

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  I know what you're thinking about for the holidays . . .

 Inside:  and I'm sure she's into it!

 Tri Fold 5 x 7" 

 

  $2.99


 Outside:  Global Warming Hits North Pole! (click card to see full details)

 Inside:  Warmest Wishes for the Season!

 5 x 7" 

 

  $2.95


 Outside:  Remember, the size of the package isn't important.

 Inside:  Okay.  Like Hell it's not!  Merry Christmas!!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  For Christmas I wanted to give you something you've always wanted!

 Inside:  Hope you always wanted a card.  Merry Christmas!!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  Happy Holidays from those of us that have known you both for a long, long, time.

 Inside:  - and like you anyway.

 5 x 7" 

  $2.50


 Outside:  First I was going to stop over for Christmas then I thought of coming over wearing something Tight and Sexy!  Then I thought of coming over wearing nothing but an Overcoat!

 Inside:  Then I thought "Naw, I'll send a card.  Merry Christmas!           5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  It's the perfect gift to keep your north pole . . .

 Inside:  . . . from going south!

 5 x 7"      Click here for chocolate v-pills.

  $2.95


 Outside:  Ironically Santa was into "naughty" in his spare time.

 Inside:  Hope your holidays are whipped into a frenzy!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  The Jumbo Dicky Switch Plate (as shown, inside, card has adhesive dots to apply to your existing light switch cover.)

 Inside:  Time to turn on Santa's North Pole! 

 5 x 7" 

  $3.95


 Outside:  Do not open until Christmas

 Inside:  Unless you want Santa to come early this year.

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  I Didn't Believe in Santa . . .

 Inside:  Now I Believe!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  Happy to See Me?

 Inside:  Or is that a yule log in your pants?  Let's fire it up this Christmas.

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  If you're going to eat too much, drink too much and party too much this holiday season...

 Inside:  You might as well spend too much on a present for me.  Merry Christmas!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  Oh, I'm gettin' nuthin' for Christmas!  Santa says I've been bad!

 Inside:  Asshole.

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:   Wishing you a stress-free Holiday Season.

 Inside:  Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. 

(That was a good one, huh?!)

 5 x 7" 

                              $2.95


 Outside:  Some women insist on exquisite jewelry or expensive perfumes for the holidays, but not me . . .

 Inside:  I'm more than willing to settle for cash.  Season's Greetings

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:   (Fruitcake) I feel like nobody really likes me . . . (psychiatrist thinking to himself) Fruitcake.

 Inside:  Happy Holidays

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  As shown

 Inside:  It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  As shown

 Inside:  You're the DRIVING FORCE behind my joy this Christmas!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  I've got something bulging in my pants pocket that's long and hard that I know you'd love to lick and suck, but hey . . .

 Inside:  . . . who can't resist a Candy Cane at Christmas time?  P.S. Of course, if you were thinking of something else, I have that, too.     5 x 7" 

   $2.95


 Outside:  Dreaming of you . . .

 Inside:  At Christmas!

 5 x 7" 

   $2.95


 Outside:  Just thought I'd let you know. . .

 Inside:  . . . I've been thinking about you this Christmas!

 5 x 7" 

   $2.95


 Outside:  Here's A Great Stocking Stuffer

 Inside:  As shown

 5 x 7" 

                              $2.95


 Outside:  Half the fun of getting a present . . .

 Inside:  is unwrapping it.  Merry Christmas!

    

     $2.95


 Outside:  I love holiday traditions.  Trimming the tree roasting chestnuts, singing carols and my favorite . . .

 Inside:  . . . you kissing me under the mistletoe.

 5 x 7"

     $2.95


  Outside:  Of course your Christmas gift from me will be very tasteful . . .

  Inside:  Make that tasty!     5 x 7" 

                                 $2.95


 Outside:  Happy Holidays

 Inside:  Wishing you the best of the season- no ifs, and, or butts!

 5 x 7" 

                             $2.95


 Outside:  As shown

 Inside:  Hope Santa stuffs your stocking with what you really want!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  As shown

 Inside:  I'd love to 'Stuff Your Stocking' this Christmas!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


Outside:  Oh, by gosh, by golly  . . .

Inside:  Your gift is behind the mistletoe and holly.  Merry Christmas!

 

    

   $2.95


Outside:  . . . and the stockings were hung with care

 

Inside:  Wishing you a 'well-hung' Holiday

Tri Fold

    

   $3.50


Outside:  He's serving up Breakfast in Bed for the Holidays!

 

 Inside:  Hot Sausage and Eggs!

Tri Fold

 

    

   $2.99


Outside:  as shown

Inside:  Dashing through the snow!

5 x 7" 

    

     $2.95


Outside:  as shown

Inside:  He's lying on your Christmas present. - 5 x 7" 

                                $2.95


Outside:  as shown

Inside:  A lay in the manger

5 x 7" 

    

     $2.95


Outside:  He's keeping your Christmas Present . . .

Inside:  under his hat!  Happy Holidays

5 x 7" 

    

     $2.95


Outside:  Santa:  What would you like for Christmas, Momma?  Mrs. Santa:  I'd like to ride a horny young stud til his balls turn blue!

 Inside:  Hope you get your Xmas wish!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  as shown

 Inside:  Wishing you the warmth of the holiday season.

 5 x 7"  (this goes great with our Yellow Snow!)

   2.95


 Outside:  I'll Hope to see You for Chirstmas . . .

 Inside:  If You're Not Too TIED UP!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  This Christmas you can call me Ebenezer . . .

 Inside:  . . . because I want to SCROOGE you all night long!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  Is that a candy cane in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

 Inside:  Merry Christmas from your favorite laptop.

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  It's Christmas . . .

 Inside:  It's okay to bite off more than you can chew.

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  Of course your Christmas gift from me will be very tasteful . . .

 Inside:  Make that tasty!     5 x 7" 

                               $2.95


 Outside:  About your Christmas Gift . . .

 Inside:  . . . it's in the bag.  Merry Christmas

 5 x 7" 

                             $2.95


 Outside:  How 'bout some holiday decorating at my house . . .

 Inside:  It'll sure get us into the Christmas spirit!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  How 'bout some holiday decorating at my house . . .

 Inside:  It'll sure get us into the Christmas spirit!

 5 x 7" 

  $2.95


 Outside:  Christmas Fun with Dick and Jane

See Jane. See Jane have a Merry Christmas.  See Spot.  See Spot have a Merry Christmas.  See Dick.  See Dick gripe about holiday traffic, expenses, and family stress.

 Inside:  Don't be a Dick.  Enjoy the Holidays.                          5 x 7" 

                               $2.95


 Outside:  There we go!  (Santa is scribbling on his list)

 Inside:  You didn't make Santa's naughty or nice list . . . but you're at the top of his shit list!  Merry Christmas

 5 x 7" 

    $2.95


  Outside:  Warmest Wishes

  Inside:  are coming your way!  Happy Holidays

                              5 x 7"

                                $2.50


 Outside:  If you were expecting something BIG from me this Christmas . . .

 Inside:  open my bra!

 5 x 7" 

 

                              $2.95


 Outside:  Half the fun of getting a present . . .

 Inside:  is unwrapping it.  Merry Christmas!

 5 x 7" 

    $2.95


 Outside:  If You Don't Like My Xmas Gift . . .

 Inside:  As Shown (Santa suggesting you can kiss his mistletoe tattooed ass)

 5 x 7" 

                               $2.95


A Gay Holiday

  Outside:  Hey!  Let's Hit the Slopes Together . . .

  Inside:  . . . and Hope We Hump Into Each Other!    5 x 7"

                               $2.95


Adult Christmas Gifts    Stocking Stuffers    X-Rated Christmas Chocolates    Holiday Lingerie

 Click here for more rude Christmas chocolates and Santa's poo.

 

 

 

 

 

If you didn't see an item that you wanted, call or EMAIL us with your request.

Allergy Warning:  All chocolates we sell may contain and are made in facilities that use tree nuts, peanuts, soy, corn and/or dairy.

Chocolate Fantasies, 1998-2013 All rights reserved.

The contents of this web site, chocolatefantasies.com, are copyright protected.  Under no circumstances may any of our copyrighted products, name of products, text, photographs, background graphics and/or thumbnails be reproduced or used in any way without our written permission.  All of our products are represented to the best to our knowledge, however some packaging, color and products may vary slightly.  We are not responsible for manufacturers' claims on any product.  Chocolate weights and pieces per piece and/or pound are approximate.

LLK, Inc., LLK Ventures, Inc. - Chocolate Fantasies are registered names.