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Naughty Valentine Greeting Cards

Adult Valentine Gifts

Click here for St. Pats, Easter, etc.    X-Rated Christmas & Hanukkah Cards

We can send your card as a gift, just write your message in the blank provided on the order form and the recipient's address.  Cards are sold all year long.

Up to 8 cards only will ship 6.50 standard mail, shipping will be changed after you place your order.

Click on pictures for detail

Valentine's Day ♥

 10 Valentine Cards - $5.30

   10 X-rated valentine cards with white envelopes.  Leave these little notes all over the house on Valentine's day or any day!  Click on picture for card messages.  3.5 x 4.5 tear apart.

                           

  Valentine Stickers - $4.50

   Four sheets with 27 hearts with x-rated sayings on each sheet.  Fun for any time of the year.  Stick them on your body, on greeting cards, your lover's rear-view mirror - Get creative and nasty!

  Outside:  This Valentine's NO GIFTS . . .

  Inside:  . . . And if you consider yourself Screwed, I'll be happy to oblige.

  5 x 7 

 
                                $2.95

  Outside:  Don't think of this as one of those x-rated valentine cards . . .

  Inside:  Think of it as foreplay.

  5 x 7 

  $2.95

  Outside:  Dear Sexy Valentine!

  Inside:  I Love You!    (Note:  Look carefully at the L in Love, it's a penis.)

  5 x 7 

  $2.95

  Outside:  Warning:  CHOKING HAZARD   Large parts. Not for children under 18 years of age.

  Inside:  Let's celebrate it "BIG" Valentine!

  5 x 7 

                              $2.95

  Outside:  Happy Valentine's Day!  Here's your card . . .

  Inside:  . . .now let's fuck!

  5 x 7 

  $2.95 OUT OF STOCK

  Outside:  My Heart Beats Just for You . . .

  Inside:  The rest of me just wants to fuck!

  5 x 7 

  $2.95

  Outside:  Some Valentine's Day dates really SUCK!

  Inside:  . . . if you're lucky!

  5 x 7 

  $2.95

  Outside:  This Valentine's Day, don't let me eat my heart out . . .

  Inside:  I'm wearing edible panties.  You do it for me!

  5 x 7 

  $2.95
  Outside:  Let's Celebrate Valentine's Day!

  Inside:  Your Bed or Mine?

  5 x 7 

  $2.95

  Outside:  Roses are red, violets are blue . . .

  Inside:  Whipped cream is sweet when I lick it from you!  Happy Valentine's Day!

  5 x 7 

  $2.95

  Outside:  For Valentine's Day I'd like to wear something tasteful . . .

  Inside:  As shown

  5 x 7

  $2.95

  Outside:  As shown

  Inside:  Did I ever tell you I have a crush on  you?

  5 x 7"
  $2.95

  Outside:  Picture us . . . Celebrating Valentine's Day . . . Romantic, Sexy, Erotic . . .

  Inside:  Now, Picture REALITY!

  5 x 7"
  $2.95

  Outside:  Valentine

  Inside:  Tonight let's make believe it's the first time.

  5 x 7
  $2.95

  Outside:  Lyle always gives Elen something chocolate on Valentine's Day!

  Inside:  He knows she's a sucker for chocolate!

  5 x 7
  $2.95

  Outside:  Cleo loves sex and chocolate, so Ed always gives her the same thing on Valentine's Day

  Inside:  chocolate covered nuts!

  5 x 7
  $2.95

   Outside:  Dear Valentine,

  Inside:  I've been thinking about you!

  5 x 7
  $2.95

  Outside:  What will we do on Valentine's Day?

  Inside:  Let's just see what comes up.

  5 x 7
  $2.95

  Outside:  Sit on my face . . .

  Inside:  and I'll eat my way to your heart.

  5 x 7
  $2.95

  Outside:  What will we do on Valentine's Day?

  Inside:  Let's see what comes up.

  5 x 7
  $2.95

   Outside:  If you think you're going to carry on in some sort of wild, shameless, sexually perverted behavior with me on Valentine's Day . . . well, I just have one thing to say . . .

  Inside:  Hurry.  Happy Valentine's Day!!   5 x 7
  $2.95

  Outside:  It's Valentine's Day and I want to say those three little words to you!

  Inside:  Do Me First!

  5 x 7"
  $2.95

  Outside:  I knew you were the one for me when you uttered those 3 little words . . .

  Inside:  "Let's get naked!"  Happy Valentine's Day

  5 x 7"
  $2.95

  Outside:  Let's Celebrate Valentine's Day . . .

  Inside:  Your Bed Or Mine?

  5 x 7"
  $2.95

  Outside:  I'm Getting Naked . . .

  Inside:  . . . just so I can give you a BARE hug for Valentine's Day.

  5 x 7"
  $2.95

  Outside:  Valentine, I have three words for you . . .

  Inside:  BED!  NAKED!  NOW!

  5 x 7"
  $2.95

  Outside:  Valentine, inside this card are three words that best describe how I think of you . . .

  Inside:  All The Time!

  5 x 7"
  $2.95

  Outside:  It must be Valentine's day because I have a song in my heart, a lump in my throat and . . .

  Inside:  . . . A bulge in my pants.  Happy Valentine's Day!

  5 x 7"
  $2.95

  Outside:  Guy says, 'Cool, Boxers!'  Girl says, 'Put 'em on!  Put 'em on!!

  Inside:  Take 'em off!  Take 'em off!!  Happy Valentine's Day!

  5 x 7"

  $2.95

  Outside:  Sure, it's Valentine's Day, sure I'm gonna eat chocolates, sure I'm gonna have great sex!

  Inside: Sure hope you can be there!  Happy Valentine's Day!!

  5 x 7"

  $2.95

  Outside:  I hope our Valentine's is filled with love, romance, sincerity, honesty, communication, a moon-lit walk and lots of hugging! . . .

  Inside:  . . . followed by great, animalistic, unchained, kinky sex!  Happy Valentine's Day

 5 x 7"

                             $2.95

  Outside:  What are the 3 little words a woman wants her lover to say to her on valentine's day?

  Inside:  The answer is not "Suck My Dick!"

  5 x 7"

  $2.95

  Outside: I Know He's Cupid, But . . .

  Inside:  . . . Does He Have to Watch?

  5 x 7"

  $2.00

  Outside:  Hey!  It's Valentine's Day!

  Inside:  And . . . I Must Have You!

  5 x 7"

  $2.00

  Outside:  Hey!  It's Valentine's Day!

  Inside:  And . . . A Man's Gotta Do What A Man's Gotta Do!

  5 x 7"

  $2.00

  Outside:  Aah, Yes. . .     Happy Valentine's Day!

  Inset:  Old Lady: "Aah Yes! Young Love!"   Woman: "Lubed?"  Man: "Ribbed?"

  Inside:  Your condom or mine?     5 x 7"  (Includes colorful condom)

  $2.95

CardLetMeCountLays.jpg (31360 bytes) Outside:  How Do I Love Thee? 

 Inside:  Let Me Count the Lays!     Happy Valentine's Day

 5 x 7"

  $2.00

  Outside:  I will always want you close to my heart. (red white and black)

  Inside:  'As pictured'

  5 x 7"

  $2.50

  Outside:  Whips & Kisses

  Inside:  from your loyal Sex Slave!

  5 x 7"

 

                               $2.95

  Outside:  On Valentine's Day LOVE is in the air!  Remember . . .

  Inside:  . . . always play it safe!  (Includes a colored condom)

  5 x 7"

  $3.25

  Outside:  Happy Valentine's Day to the love of my life!  For you I would . . . climb the tallest mountain . . . swim the deepest ocean . . . battle a raging inferno!

  Inside:  . . . and I might even take you out for dinner tonight if it doesn't rain.

  5 x 7"

  $2.95

  Outside:  If you're expecting a Valentine's Day card with a lot of cutesy-pie, lovey-dovey, mushy talk, you've got another thing coming . . .

  Inside:  . . . my little sweet potato, angel cake, kissy lips . . .

  5 x 7"

  $2.39

 Worlds Greatest Lover Diplomas - $4.20 ea.

  This diploma certifies that ___________ , has successfully completed the necessary relationship requirements in the areas of sexuality, communications, understanding, tolerance, patience and love, and is thus, awarded the diploma of Greatest Lover.  In witness whereof, I bestow upon her the honorable title of Ideal Woman/Man, by virtue of which she/he is granted membership in the very select Greatest Lovers Club. ____________ (Satisfied lover)  stamped with metallic 'Greatest Lovers Club.'  Does not include card.

                             

Gift Bags     Wrapping Paper

Click here for all other holiday greetings     Holiday cards that are not naughty

 

If you didn't see an item that you wanted, call or EMAIL us with your request.

Allergy Warning:  All chocolates we sell may contain and are made in facilities that use tree nuts, peanuts, soy, corn or dairy.

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